A Housewife and A Conference

A couple of years ago I went to an English Language conference. It was my first and the reason I am remembering it now is because I have been invited to attend one more this year.

"Be-e-linger! stop that smirk. So I am a housewife and you can't for the love of God figure out why anyone would want me to be present at one, right?"

"Did I say anything at all?"

Let me just ignore the smarty pants B and share my thoughts on that conference....just remember it is a very layperson's observation....

The conference was intended for teachers, teacher educators, researchers, administrators, professionals from the corporate and public sectors who were linked to English Language teaching, and material and curriculum developers who have worked in ESL (English as Second Language) situations. I looked at the list and wondered where I would fit in. If this was two decades ago my presence would have been somewhat relevant. I had worked as a teacher of English.

At that time I had taught English Language for students who were taking the ‘A’ Level examinations under the London Examination Syndicate and Communications for those who were pursuing the Private Secretarial Course and ICSA studies. I had thoroughly enjoyed teaching. Some of my students had been older than me but this had not hampered my teaching capability.

"Ahem!"

"Oh please B, don't underestimate me. Although I was fresh out of college I was pretty confident because I had done very well in English Language studies. I was aware that I wasn’t trained to teach and my points of reference were merely my own experiences with my English teachers who had taught me. They had been excellent teachers, those Scottish and Irish nuns. "

When I was given the conference guide I was overwhelmed by the number of presentations, workshops and demonstrations that were to occur over the next three days. And for the first time I had questioned if I should be there, in the midst of all those educationists.

"It's good to know you get doubts now and then about yourself. A little lack of confidence never killed anybody!"

Like every other profession, teaching too had become sophisticated in its research and approaches. There seemed to be a need to keep up with the newer developing styles of learning and keeping the learners interested.

"B, I can get critical too, you know, and thats what I did."

"Yes, yes, that's one of your finer qualities, my dear."

I had very limited tools of analysis, no theories and such, but all I was trying to figure out was if all this was taking teachers somewhere important - to the classroom. After all, at the end of the day the teachers work is not done if she has not been able to spark an interest in her students on the subject at hand.

There were quite a few presenters form overseas, obviously well-known experts in the field. Together with some of the local professors and associate professors, I surmised that their primary purpose, was to show how the teaching of language can be made interesting through creative usage of methods and materials and how literature and IT can be incorporated into lesson plans to make learning both creative and exciting.

There were also quite a few ‘student’ teachers who were in the process of acquiring their Masters or PhDs. The conference provided a platform for them to report on their research studies. This was probably a requisite towards achieving their degrees. I have to say that most of their ‘findings’ were not newsworthy but it did provide statistics. A good teacher could arrive at these same conclusions through instinct. But then instincts were never accepted in research studies, so they did spend a good portion of their time querying students through various survey methods, proving theories over and over again.

"Did you not find this a life-changing experience?"

"Frankly my dear, no.... I mean I felt that the answers to many questions that kept sprouting in my head weren’t complete or satisfactory. Perhaps I was the 'defective' party there."

My final BIG question was - Will all that was learnt in the three days of the conference be translated to benefit the students in the classroom? That is the crucial question - one that should matter most.

"Your conclusions are sharp, I have to give you credit for that. Come now and take a sip of my vodka and lemon...."

Sometimes it's good to see beyond the sarcasm.

My First Blogging

For a long time now I would look at my keyboard, close my eyes and pray that when I opened them a couple of minutes later I would find my Muse. A muse sounded romantic, poetic, even accomplished and I wanted to start from There but alas! it never happened. And so I proceeded to create my own muse ...er..... a muse-like entity. Create? Well, perhaps it was there just waiting in some corner of my mind for the right time to manifest itself. Something that would connect the dimensions inside and outside of me.

Once upon a time when I had become a housewife after having worked for a few years, I found the housework absolutely boring. Yes, the meals had to be prepared, house mopped, laundry done and children cared for. These were all taken care of pretty efficiently, sometimes even creatively, and often the compliments were welcome .... but that whirring, that meddling buzz in the head never stopped. It would rise to a crescendo and then slip to a muted far away whisper, whistling tunelessly... but never completely disappearing. It had to be dealt with. That voiceless sound, faintly cosmic never left me in peace. It occurred to me that this primeval echo needed a companion and I wasn't enough..bits of me may have satisfied it's thirst.... here and there ..... but never the whole me. It became a little persistent.

By then my person, or simply, I too was feeling pretty lonely in a very real sense and realized that what was needed here was a Friend, a mutual multi-level true friend. Someone who could transcend the space between the echoes of my presence in this world and the noises of my mind. There was a need for brutal honesty here. This thing or person must also have the capacity to swing from the core of goodness to the centre of evil, and be someone who was willing to play myriad roles with juicy succulent relish...

The TV, to which most housewives turn to, could never address this whirring, but books....they were good. Very good, that in fact they enhanced the whirring! And books weren't interactive. I wanted to converse, you know.... talk to someone who would share the same problems with me but come up with different solutions, someone I could disagree with and even have a tiff now and then. Someone who would mock me and yell at me, hurtling my temper to incinerating levels or push me against the wall and smother me with passionate kisses leaving me breathless.....

I was looking for this mythical thing /person that could perhaps be a campanion of sorts or just someone hanging on the edge of my day-to-day life and always have something to say on all that happens to me. ....so I did eventually find someone - welcome to Be-e-linger.....

Be-e-linger started visiting me, at unexpected moments, always sharp and with an alluring freshness....and always true to its essence that birthed it - spiritual yet worldly, charming yet blunt, opinionated when drunk, intellectual when sober, referential when queried, philosophical when tragic and phallic when wickedly tormenting ..... popping up after a warm shower, or before my dinner, or in front of neighbours, at the feet or on the tummy...... everywhere and anywhere.....often with a glass of vodka and a slice of lemon, sitting smugly or standing tall or swaggering towards me, coming and going whenever it chose.

There are times when in a serious mood it would, with the deepest of respect, cock an eyebrow at me .... knowing well that I am dying for a little attention, a little conversation, a little fun and would generously caress my cerebral parts and wait ....... it has been one long drawn out affair...fifteen years and still going somewhere

Patient and arrogant, enduring and reckless, kind and caustic and much more...it befriends, abandons, compliments, ridicules, glares, smiles, fades ...but always lingers.....my dear Be-e-linger.....................