I have come to realize that I am pretty good at making friends and it’s a wonderful realization that I wish to celebrate. I want to make a thousand more before I die! Making friends out of the vast population of strangers spawns a certain passion in me and it’s exhilarating and very satisfying.
B asked, “Do you want me to bring out my collection of quotable quotes on friendship and friends?”
Well, no, but here’s my favourite - “Life without friends is like breasts without nipples – Pointless!”
B cocked an eyebrow (by now you know that’s a cute gesture of B’s) and smiled in agreement. Surely B knows about it all especially being at the forefront of my adventures and advising me here and cautioning me there. The rewards of these adventures are varied and mostly very satisfying. The meeting of minds between my friends and I has opened new worlds. The discovery of tastes, interests, behaviour patterns, dissimilarities, weirdness and the ability to relate to each other has often given me new highs to see me through the day. I believe it has made me a better person, more insightful, sensitive to others, honest, confident and generally happy. The shared topics have definitely enriched my life.
Sometimes you meet someone and pretty soon you feel you have known each other for ages. It's probably a remnant of an earlier life that lay suspended in the cosmic deep-freeze and found an auspicious time to thaw and move with an earthly momentum, connecting two minds. It often makes you wonder what would have been the nature of this earlier life relationship?
A mother and a wayward son, or a child and an impossible father, or a wife and a philandering husband, or just a pet-keeper and his pet gold fish!!! Or maybe a Madam and a ‘hand’ who together ran a sleazy 'boudoir' in the Old West, or a rich Sheik and his favourite belly dancer from his harem. The possibilities are mind boggling.
The fact that we meet people who later become buddies is very significant. It heightens my belief that almost all of life is about meeting people and the events or occasions that brings us together. The events are absolutely meaningful because they allow for a handshake of feelings and emotions and a kind of ‘germ’ transfer from one to the other…. both ways…and from this seemingly innocuous germ-seed we are able to grow, to envelop some aspect of each other. This process of growing or the nurturing of the friendship is by far the greatest wonder of life. It is ennobling to the spirit, bringing forth feelings and emotions that express a love, caring and respect beyond words or actions. It is joyful.
See, we are born into families. We grow up loving, hating, getting attached and getting detached and we find ourselves at a certain place in life. Parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents, etc all feature in our lives. We tend to know them by instinct; by what we have learned from others about them and by what we ourselves have learnt firsthand. After all we have fought the battles, shared in the fun, gotten angry, laughed uncontrollably and farted in each other's presence. They have given us memories which are worth two cents a blink or a million bucks a dream. We celebrate some and we shy away from others. And then. And then after all of this we meet someone from literally out of the blue!
“Ah! And then you arer in love, right?” B teases me.
“The truth?”
Let’s not go into love and all that crap. Friends….
When you focus your attention on someone new - talking at length on almost any subject or topic - you go on a journey ...a journey into the labyrinths of the mind and the chambers of the heart and if you get lost, the journey back is fun too. Of course it doesn’t happen with everyone you meet. There has to be some kind of curiosity, a frisson of attraction (especially if it’s the opposite sex) and something inexplicable – the X factor. For example you could have met the same person at an earlier time and there wouldn’t have been even a cursory glance. And yet, this time….you would be smitten beyond repair. So why is this so? Well….perhaps this time you are at the same point in some mental gestation path and the meeting was a matter of perfect timing. And also there is every possibility you could get hooked to this friendship. At least for a time.
“At least for a time,” B repeats and gives me that look which says…”how long is ours going to be”….. I reply, “You’re not getting away from me my dear, this is a lifetime thing, between you and me.”
“B, does one get hooked to a friendship until the process of making a friend is complete? For a period of time at least? Let’s say you have discovered everything you want to discover about this person, do you then reach a Friendship Plateau and then the interest wanes?”
“Have you discovered everything about me? We have been together for over a decade?”
“Oh! C’mon B, you are different…you are not even normal!” and then I see the hurt in B’s soulful eyes.
“You are above us all…. mere mortals like me. You are special, you know, out-of-this-world- special, and that’s sacred,” I add quickly.
B considers me hoping to find a trace of genuineness and finds it. I am sucker for B and all that is B-like in this world. It shows in every smile and every teardrop of mine.
“Perhaps there is a Friendship Curve,” B declares. Perhaps.
With the tidbits of things you learn about a new friend you tend to create a part of this new friend in you. When the chores of the day are packed and the alarm clock is placed on the night table, you take this new creation for a waltz in the soft moonlight under the starry sky or you scrutinize this creation, your eyes closed and turning this way and that under the bright lights in your head, looking for things you could have missed. You smile and remember what you had laughed at and what had hurt a little ….
And then you assimilate and become a part of, an extension of this friend and in the great privacy of our Mind you are having great discourses on matters as diverse as politics and cooking. Then you wonder, “Will this friendship come to pass?”
Maybe it will and maybe it won’t. You take a break but the break only serves to make you acutely aware of the very special flavour of this new friendship and then you realize, this one will be a friend for life even if there are silences in between. And you are sure this friendship will at first ground your soul and then prepare it for a flight to a happy eternity. Friends.*Sigh*
B asked, “Do you want me to bring out my collection of quotable quotes on friendship and friends?”
Well, no, but here’s my favourite - “Life without friends is like breasts without nipples – Pointless!”
B cocked an eyebrow (by now you know that’s a cute gesture of B’s) and smiled in agreement. Surely B knows about it all especially being at the forefront of my adventures and advising me here and cautioning me there. The rewards of these adventures are varied and mostly very satisfying. The meeting of minds between my friends and I has opened new worlds. The discovery of tastes, interests, behaviour patterns, dissimilarities, weirdness and the ability to relate to each other has often given me new highs to see me through the day. I believe it has made me a better person, more insightful, sensitive to others, honest, confident and generally happy. The shared topics have definitely enriched my life.
Sometimes you meet someone and pretty soon you feel you have known each other for ages. It's probably a remnant of an earlier life that lay suspended in the cosmic deep-freeze and found an auspicious time to thaw and move with an earthly momentum, connecting two minds. It often makes you wonder what would have been the nature of this earlier life relationship?
A mother and a wayward son, or a child and an impossible father, or a wife and a philandering husband, or just a pet-keeper and his pet gold fish!!! Or maybe a Madam and a ‘hand’ who together ran a sleazy 'boudoir' in the Old West, or a rich Sheik and his favourite belly dancer from his harem. The possibilities are mind boggling.
The fact that we meet people who later become buddies is very significant. It heightens my belief that almost all of life is about meeting people and the events or occasions that brings us together. The events are absolutely meaningful because they allow for a handshake of feelings and emotions and a kind of ‘germ’ transfer from one to the other…. both ways…and from this seemingly innocuous germ-seed we are able to grow, to envelop some aspect of each other. This process of growing or the nurturing of the friendship is by far the greatest wonder of life. It is ennobling to the spirit, bringing forth feelings and emotions that express a love, caring and respect beyond words or actions. It is joyful.
See, we are born into families. We grow up loving, hating, getting attached and getting detached and we find ourselves at a certain place in life. Parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents, etc all feature in our lives. We tend to know them by instinct; by what we have learned from others about them and by what we ourselves have learnt firsthand. After all we have fought the battles, shared in the fun, gotten angry, laughed uncontrollably and farted in each other's presence. They have given us memories which are worth two cents a blink or a million bucks a dream. We celebrate some and we shy away from others. And then. And then after all of this we meet someone from literally out of the blue!
“Ah! And then you arer in love, right?” B teases me.
“The truth?”
Let’s not go into love and all that crap. Friends….
When you focus your attention on someone new - talking at length on almost any subject or topic - you go on a journey ...a journey into the labyrinths of the mind and the chambers of the heart and if you get lost, the journey back is fun too. Of course it doesn’t happen with everyone you meet. There has to be some kind of curiosity, a frisson of attraction (especially if it’s the opposite sex) and something inexplicable – the X factor. For example you could have met the same person at an earlier time and there wouldn’t have been even a cursory glance. And yet, this time….you would be smitten beyond repair. So why is this so? Well….perhaps this time you are at the same point in some mental gestation path and the meeting was a matter of perfect timing. And also there is every possibility you could get hooked to this friendship. At least for a time.
“At least for a time,” B repeats and gives me that look which says…”how long is ours going to be”….. I reply, “You’re not getting away from me my dear, this is a lifetime thing, between you and me.”
“B, does one get hooked to a friendship until the process of making a friend is complete? For a period of time at least? Let’s say you have discovered everything you want to discover about this person, do you then reach a Friendship Plateau and then the interest wanes?”
“Have you discovered everything about me? We have been together for over a decade?”
“Oh! C’mon B, you are different…you are not even normal!” and then I see the hurt in B’s soulful eyes.
“You are above us all…. mere mortals like me. You are special, you know, out-of-this-world- special, and that’s sacred,” I add quickly.
B considers me hoping to find a trace of genuineness and finds it. I am sucker for B and all that is B-like in this world. It shows in every smile and every teardrop of mine.
“Perhaps there is a Friendship Curve,” B declares. Perhaps.
With the tidbits of things you learn about a new friend you tend to create a part of this new friend in you. When the chores of the day are packed and the alarm clock is placed on the night table, you take this new creation for a waltz in the soft moonlight under the starry sky or you scrutinize this creation, your eyes closed and turning this way and that under the bright lights in your head, looking for things you could have missed. You smile and remember what you had laughed at and what had hurt a little ….
And then you assimilate and become a part of, an extension of this friend and in the great privacy of our Mind you are having great discourses on matters as diverse as politics and cooking. Then you wonder, “Will this friendship come to pass?”
Maybe it will and maybe it won’t. You take a break but the break only serves to make you acutely aware of the very special flavour of this new friendship and then you realize, this one will be a friend for life even if there are silences in between. And you are sure this friendship will at first ground your soul and then prepare it for a flight to a happy eternity. Friends.*Sigh*
